4 Step Plan to Process a Stressful Day

Have you ever had a day that made you want to scream? Then, you couldn’t quit thinking about the day and what you did (or didn’t do)?

Workdays – especially in healthcare – can be super stressful.

The stress can build and build, and if it’s not dealt with in a constructive manner, it can create lasting and severe problems at worst and be a roadblock to success at best.

To ensure that the stress doesn’t snowball and become so heavy you cannot bear it, you need a process to debrief and release the stressful events of the day.

Debriefing is a technique that is used in many complex situations to get to the heart of what happened in a non-threatening way. Learn from what went well and what didn’t go so well. Then make plans and goals for moving forward.

It’s not a substitute for a psychological professional by any means but can help you get past the day-to-day stresses that can build up over time if not dealt with.

So what is this process? I’m so glad you asked. 🙂

Step 1: Identify what you are feeling.

I know you’re feeling stress. That’s why you are taking the time to read this article after all. But dig a bit deeper. What other emotions are you experiencing? Put a name to them in as much detail as possible.

For instance, instead of just saying you are angry, find a more nuanced word that fits your situation better. Words like betrayed, disrespected, and shunned can still indicate an emotion that resembles anger but are much more descriptive in helping you understand exactly what you are feeling.

If you have trouble with this step, don’t worry – you are not alone. But practice being as descriptive as possible about your emotions, and it will get easier. And in the meantime, you will discover a lot about yourself and who you are.

Also, remember to include the positive emotions as well as the negative. Excitement, elation, joy, and other positive emotions can also cause stress. And when they do, it is even harder to figure out what you are stressed about because you “should” be feeling “happy.”

Okay. Once you have identified your emotions in as much detail as possible, you’re ready for the next step.

Step 2: Ask yourself the 3 Debriefing Questions.

What went well? What didn’t go so well? and What could I have done better?

These three questions get to the heart of the incident and acknowledge some very important facts.

The first of these facts is that almost any incident has at least one thing that went well. Dig deep if you have to but try to identify at least one thing that went well. It might be that you didn’t yell. It might be that you stopped yourself from yelling after ___ minutes. I know, not ideal, but if an improvement in this area is all you can find that went well (or better than a previous incident) then use it.

List as many things that went well (or better than another time) as you can. Then ask yourself, “What didn’t go so well?” or “What could have gone better?”

This is usually where your mind wants to go (at least mine does). Take a factual approach here and list the things that did not go so well. For example, it might be that you yelled – or they did. It could have been that an adverse outcome (medication error, unanticipated event, fall, etc.) occurred. Whatever it is, list it out – no judgment, just facts.

Then finally, examine your actions – or lack of actions – and determine what you think you could have done better. If it was an interpersonal issue where the other person carried the primary responsibility, still try to determine how your actions may have contributed.

Again, examine what happened as objectively as possible and just write it down.

Step 3: Make a plan (and set goals) for your next work day, based on your findings.

This step can make a big difference, not only in your stress level, but also in your learning and success.  Why?  Because this is where you take your observations and use them to make changes that will impact your future.  

For instance, if you realize that your tone of voice or body language may have contributed to a negative reaction you received, make a goal of being more aware of your tone of voice and body language. This will lead you to pay more attention to these areas which in turn will help you make changes as needed.

Or, perhaps you noticed in Step 2 that you lack knowledge in an area that is essential to your success.  Identifying this lack of knowledge allows you to set goals and make plans for filling this gap.

Now you’re ready for the 4th and final step.

Step 4: Release the stress. Find one thing to be grateful for and then go do something you love.

This step acknowledges that you have examined the situation, addressed issues within your control, and made plans for moving forward. Now it’s time to let it go.

The second half of this step is transitioning your thoughts and filling your mind with positive things so that you don’t unconsciously go right back to thinking about your stressful day. Expressing gratitude has been shown to improve mood and outlook and is a great transition activity. Then, moving yourself physically and emotionally to do something you enjoy can help sustain the transition to a positive internal state.

Debriefing a situation can help you process the negative emotions in a way that (hopefully) will let you release them so they don’t keep piling up into an unbearable load.

I hope you’ll try it. Then let me know if it works for you.

Want a tool to help you debrief your day?

Leave a Comment


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.